Elena Marttila Self-portrait 1942
It was on one evening in February 1942 when Elena realised that her energy reserves had been completely depleted, and she would likely not live through the night. Elena decided not to go to bed but to start painting her self-portrait instead. This is what she wrote in her diary that night:
‘…If I have to die, I will do it as an artist – not in bed, but with a brush in my hand…’ She held a small mirror up to her face and intently studied her features by the light of a self-made oil lamp. ‘…I distracted myself from thinking about death, I was drawing nature… Suddenly, I noticed a ray of light coming through the slit in the blinds. I realised that a new morning had come – the one I had not hoped to meet. I won! I conquered death and did not support Hitler in fulfilling his plans to exterminate all Leningraders. Every cell of my exhausted body was charged with the realisation that I was alive and would not die, and that gave me energy… I felt joy and calm. My work and conviction became my daily bread.’
Elena dedicated her life to her craft, as well as her mother. In April 1942 Evdokiia Vasilyevna suffered severe shell shock, and Elena had to accompany her mother to evacuation in Mordovia. She records in her diary: ‘I did not want to leave Leningrad, but my mother had become a helpless child. She was unable to dress herself and was fearful of everything. She somehow lost the knack to live. I convinced her that I would be her mother, whilst she would become my daughter instead. I could see in her eyes that she was grateful to me for that. I became mature and responsible for her as well as for the rest of our neighbours we shared the room with…’